Stop chasing someone who doesn’t care for you. “Can I stop this hurt?” asks Blake. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is agony. It feels like your world is falling apart. Sound familiar? Often, loving someone who doesn’t return your feelings is devastating. It plain sucks. Whether it’s a crush who simply doesn’t like you back or a partner who fell out of love, one-sided love is just painful. It’s tempting to hold out hope that things will change someday and they’ll come back. But that may never happen. So you need to figure out how to get over loving someone who doesn’t love you back. I know it’s hard and seems impossible. But maybe it’s not as tough as you think. Shall I show you how?
1. Accept The Hard Truth
The first step is acknowledging the brutal truth – this person doesn’t need or want you.
You may desperately cling to hope that their feelings will change. But dwelling on “what ifs” and “maybes” will only prolong your pain.
The cold, hard fact is that right now, in the present, this person does not reciprocate your love. Hoping for some distant time will not alter your current reality.
Make peace with the truth, no matter how harsh. Recognizing that your love is unrequited allows you to take control and move forward.
2. Identify Your Emotions
Repressing your feelings won’t make them disappear. You need to fully experience your grief in order to move through it.
Let yourself cry, scream, sit with the disappointment – whatever you need to express your hurt. Get it all out so you can start to heal.
Acknowledging the depth of your pain is the first step toward resolving it. Be brutally honest with yourself about your emotional state.
3. Be Patient With Yourself
Like any wound, heartbreak takes time to mend. Be compassionate and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace.
There will be good days and bad days. On the bad ones, give yourself permission to rest and reset.
Trust that the rawness will lessen with each passing week and month. Emotional recovery cannot be rushed.
4. Don’t Blame Yourself
It’s easy to internalize rejection and assume you’re deficient in some way. But the reason this relationship failed has nothing to do with your worth.
Your ex may have unresolved issues, found someone else, or simply fell out of love. None of those have to do with you.
Assigning blame leads to toxic self-criticism that erodes your confidence. Boost yourself back up by refusing to take the breakup personally.
5. Confide In Loved Ones
Bottling up your feelings can be isolating. Sharing your experience with trusted friends and family can bring relief.
Simply articulating your sorrow out loud often diminishes its power over you. And receiving empathy from loved ones soothes your soul.
Lean on your support network when you need a shoulder to cry on. Turning to others unites you against your pain.
6. Cut Contact
Seeing, messaging, or bumping into your unrequited love frequently will prolong your heartache. You need space and distance.
Block or unfollow them on social media, avoid places where you may run into each other, and ask mutual friends not to relay updates.
Out of sight, out of mind. Removing reminders of this person will help disentangle them from your thoughts.
7. Practice Extreme Self-Care
When you’re hurting, it’s essential to nurture and comfort yourself. Get massages, cook favorite meals, and indulge in leisure activities.
Fall back in love with your own wonderful self. Discover new passions, learn new skills, and pursue personal growth.
Focus your energy inward to rebuild your spirit and restore your sense of identity beyond this person.
8. Turn To Physical Activity
Exercising is proven to boost mood and banish negative thinking patterns. Flood your body with feel-good endorphins.
Go for runs, hit the gym, take dance classes – any physical exertion you enjoy. Work up a sweat and release your emotions.
Channeling energy into your body will leave you feeling rejuvenated and resilient. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day.
9. Reframe Your Perspective
Being rejected romantically is painful. But with an adjusted mindset, you may come to view this experience as a positive turning point.
Perhaps it freed you from a relationship that was unfulfilling. Or it revealed this person’s flaws, saving you from further hurt down the line.
Look at the breakup as an opportunity to upgrade your love life and identify someone who cherishes you. Find the silver linings.
10. Avoid Rebounds
Seeking a new partner immediately to numb your pain or prove you’re desirable could backfire.
You risk involving someone else emotionally when you haven’t healed from your last relationship.
Give yourself adequate time as an independent single person before pursuing anything serious with a new flame.
11. Try Coping Strategies From Research
Scientific studies have uncovered techniques that help people move on from unrequited love. Put research-backed methods into practice:
- Cognitive Restructuring: Alter your perceptions of this person by focusing objectively on their negative qualities so they seem less idealized.
- Gratitude Journaling: Write regularly about things you’re grateful for to appreciate the good still left in your life.
- Meditation and Mindfulness: Be present in the moment to detach from pining over the past or future. Recenter yourself.
- Acts of Kindness: Do good deeds to increase positive emotions and take the focus off your own suffering.
- Support Groups: Connect with others recovering from similar rejection to feel less alone.
Last thoughts
Remember Blake, who couldn’t handle the hurt of one-sided love? If you’re like her, your main goal is to get over-loving someone who doesn’t care for you. So you don’t have to be sad over a relationship that failed. Distract yourself from your ex. Do things that make you happy. Enjoy being free again. And after you’ve moved on from your old flame, try dating anew. Wishing you the absolute best!