Let’s be blunt: you’re never going to look in the mirror and see a complete, objective, “final draft” version of yourself. And really, would you even want to? Imagine life as the world’s longest, least-eventful Wikipedia entry: “Entered the room. Ate a salad. Left.” Yikes.

So let’s agree to ditch the myth of “crystal-clear self-knowledge,” yeah? What makes you brilliant isn’t some fixed self-definition—it’s your messy, delicious imagination. I stumbled into this after years of trying to “get zen” and read all the self-help books and, let’s be real, napping with my cat on top of them. Here’s what really works: imagination trumps introspection, every single time.

Childhood Didn’t Waste Your Time—It Was Training You to Be Wildly Creative

Picture yourself at seven. Did you catalog your personal values? Or did you become a wizard astronaut puppy for an afternoon, no explanation needed? Exactly.

Then comes school. Suddenly, you’re not supposed to doodle in the margins of your math worksheet. “Focus! Be realistic!” (Insert exaggerated sigh here.) Goodbye, wild self-invention. Hello, boxes with labels and “appropriate” dreams.

But newsflash: science backs up the fact that your brain thrives in creative play mode. Dr. Stuart Brown—yep, the guy with the super popular TED talk—proved play literally rewires our minds for fresh ideas and problem-solving. So go ahead: color outside the lines, and maybe on your desk if you’re feeling spicy.

Two Ridiculously Simple (and Surprisingly Fun) Ways to Change How You See Yourself

Look, if you want a step-by-step manual, you’re barking up the wrong motivational tree; I have a “water my basil” alert and still forget. Life’s too short for 47 complicated instructions. I’ll give you two practices that take five minutes each. That’s it.

1. Draw Yourself Like You’re Back in First Grade (5 Minutes)

Don’t have fancy paper? The back of your Chinese takeout menu works. Draw a circle in the middle. Write your actual name—don’t get philosophical just yet.

Grow some branches. Add whatever matters: your dream of learning to salsa, your anxiety about parallel parking, that obsession with octopus documentaries (did you know they have three hearts?). Seriously, go wild. Stick figures, doodles, emojis—if it cracks you up, put it down.

When I did this recently, I had “someday herb garden” on the page for YEARS and only just now managed to sprout two timid tomato plants on my windowsill. Miracle! Every time I walk past them, I remember: you can start something messy and it can still grow.

Quick Tip: Drawing your hopes doesn’t just boost your mood. Psychologists say imagining yourself DOING THE THING (like finally nailing a karaoke duet or mastering spicy ramen) tricks your brain into treating those goals as “memories in waiting.” You act as if you’re becoming that person. Basically: you’re time-traveling.

2. Write Your Greatest Hits (AKA “Your Future’s Highlight Reel”)

Yup, it sounds a little morbid—“write your obituary”—but really, it’s like jotting down the liner notes for your Greatest Hits album.

Think of it as a love letter from future-you to the world. What makes you legendary? The time you snorted tea while laughing at your own joke? The day you finally told Karen “No, I don’t want to join your crossfit group”? The pancake breakfast that turned into a kitchen disaster but had everyone smiling?

I once did this and swore off buying cute new planners I’ll never use (my “journaling phase” was… brief). But the exercise worked: it gently smoked out what actually mattered to me, versus what just filled my calendar.

Stick this highlight reel where you’ll see it—a kitchen cupboard, taped to the coffeemaker, or right above the “water Gerald” note (my one surviving succulent, may he thrive). Glance at it when you’re lost in the daily grind, and remember: today’s tiny choices are writing your best stories.

How to Make Life Feel Like Recess (With Grown-Up Perks)

Here’s my wild theory: Life is supposed to be fun. (Revolutionary, I know.) Coach Dan Sullivan says to live in a state of play—like grown-up recess, but you bring your own snacks and you can stay up late.

Want to give it a shot? Try this:

• Learn what you’re curious about—just because it’s cool. That weird fact about octopuses and their three hearts? Useless. Delightful.
• Invest in your “hype crew.” Hold tight to friends who make you feel like your funniest, bravest self and let go of the people who make you question your vibe every five minutes.
• Don’t let your past decide your future. Sure, your old stories taught you a lot (some of those lessons, oof), but they’re not the end of your adventure.
• Ditch what drags you down. Tired habits, uncomfy jeans, doomscrolling, or beliefs like “I’m just not a creative person”—clear ’em out. You’ll breathe easier. Promise.
• Go after what sparks joy (even if it doesn’t make “sense”). Forget “should.” Ask, “What makes me feel alive?” Honestly, you already know the answer.

And… What Next?

Real question: Where do you want to turn up six months from now? Not the “shoulds” or “maybes” handed down from Instagram influencers or your Aunt Edna—but the real you.

How close can you get to your wildest dream if you give up excuses and start taking awkward, tiny steps? What might happen if you let your weird flag fly and stop apologizing for it?

Your story is being written as we speak—every ordinary Tuesday and every big-leap Wednesday. It doesn’t have to be grand, just yours. So: what will your headline be?

Remember: Life isn’t about “finding” who you are somewhere out there—it’s about creating yourself, one doodle, one choice, one good laugh at a time.

You’ve so got this.