“You say success comes from experience, and experience comes from bad experience. But bad experiences always lead to depression. People get so depressed from failures that either they change fields completely, or they face such financial loss that they become a burden on their family. So how do you change your thoughts after a bad experience to keep moving forward?”
This is an important question. But before I answer it, let me make sure I understand what you’re really asking.
The missing context
You’re saying I claim that success comes from experience, and experience comes from bad experience. But sometimes people have such bad experiences, or such big failures, that they go into depression. They don’t have the courage to do anything else. Either they’re finished psychologically, or they’re finished financially.
Now, if you don’t deeply understand the context of where I said this, what my standpoint was, you’ll completely misunderstand.
I said this in my Life Changing Seminar. Have you watched that seminar? The two-hour one?
You haven’t?
That seminar is currently in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s most viewed educational video. And you still haven’t watched it.
Brother, you could learn something good from there. But anyway.
What I actually said
In that seminar, I was telling my story from my standpoint. In the last part, I was explaining: “Look, I had this loss, then this happened, then this happened, then this happened.” Then I said that all those failures connected with each other. Because if those failures hadn’t happened, this success wouldn’t have happened either.
But if you observed carefully, all those failures were very small.
Not even one failure was so big that I was completely finished.
Let me talk in financial terms: in one failure, I lost maybe 5,000 rupees. In another, 15,000 rupees. In another, 50,000 rupees.
It never happened that I lost 5 million rupees, that I mortgaged my father’s house, that we ended up on the street. Never. I never took such a step.
Plus, in that seminar I repeatedly said one thing: you don’t have to run, you don’t have to stop, you just have to keep walking. And take small steps.
So when you connect all these points and understand them together, you’ll understand what I meant from what standpoint.
Small steps mean small risks
If you take small steps, the risks are also small. It’s very easy to recover from them. That’s when I say it’s easy.
But if you apply this blindly to some very big step where there’s very big risk and very big failure? Then nothing is easy there.
The baby learning to walk
For example: a baby is learning to walk. Slowly trying. Falling again and again. Standing up. Walking. Falling. Walking.
But imagine if the mother develops impatience. “Two months and he still can’t walk. Let’s do one thing — tie a rope to him and drag him behind the bike.”
I’m not giving you people ideas. Don’t try this at home.
But let’s say there are some crazy parents who said, “I’ll teach my child to walk today. Why waste 2-4-6 months? Let’s do it in 2 hours.” They tied a rope to their child’s hand — the poor kid can’t even stand properly — and they tied him to the bike and started riding.
What will happen? The kid will die. It’s not even possible.
So what do you do with that terrible experience?
The right way to take risks
Take small risks. Take small steps. When you build confidence there, then increase the level a little bit.
If you don’t know how to swim, first learn in shallow water. When you learn, then go to deep water. And even there, go from the side. Don’t go straight to the middle. If you collide with someone and go under, you’re gone.
So if you’re learning swimming slowly, there’s no risk. Then everything is easy. Then success comes from experience, and experience comes from bad experience.
Meaning: when you try to swim and can’t, you understand, “Oh, this way doesn’t work for swimming. Let me try another way.”
But where are you trying all this? In shallow water. That’s when it’s easy.
The deadly mistake
But if you heard my words and got super motivated and said, “Everything is easy!” and went and jumped straight into the ocean? Then there’s no one left to even say it’s easy.
This is the mistake we make. We get overly excited. We don’t use our intelligence. We take some big step. When you take a big step, the risk also becomes big.
So big that for your entire life you can’t get rid of it.
Always take risks smaller than your capacity
Always take small steps in life. Until you become so big inside that you know what your capacity is.
Even then, take slightly less risk than your capacity. Never take such a big risk in life that — if we talk financially — and this is very important, listen carefully to this:
What happens is when greed becomes heavy on us, when temptation comes — “My family’s financial problem…”
Now look at that baby example I gave you. You were laughing, thinking “Who does that?” But you all do exactly that. Yes, not with your baby. With yourself.
The real-life version
How do you do it? There’s a financial problem at home. Whose home doesn’t have one? Every other home has major financial problems. Your home probably has them too.
The solution won’t come overnight. But you want an overnight solution.
So you saw something somewhere that made you feel: “If I do this, then in the next 2 months, this financial problem that was created over 20 years will be solved in 2 months.”
And because greed has become so heavy on you, you took whatever money you had saved and put it somewhere, on someone’s word.
And then that money sank too.
You already had a problem. Now you have an even bigger problem. If you go further, you had a house — you mortgaged that too.
Now on one side, you’re about to lose your house. On another side, you don’t have money for household expenses. On the third side, the risk you took failed, which is causing psychological damage.
Now whose experience is this? This isn’t the experience of any work. It’s not clear what I said?
The answer
Did you get the solution to your problem? Did you get the answer? Tell me clearly.
First of all: whatever risk I take, I should take only as much risk as my capacity allows. Even less than that. So that slowly, slowly, slowly, I can step forward.
And when I reach a point where I have that much capacity, then I can take bigger risks.
Meaning: first learn to walk. Then learn to run. If you run directly, such a big accident might happen that you won’t even be able to walk.
The bottom line
Success does come from experience. Experience does come from bad experience. But this only works when:
- Your failures are small — small enough that you can recover
- You take calculated risks — risks within or below your capacity
- You learn and adjust — each small failure teaches you something
- You keep moving — you don’t run, you don’t stop, you just keep walking
The people who get destroyed by failure? They didn’t follow these rules. They jumped into the ocean without learning to swim in shallow water first.
Don’t be that person.
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