Look, I’m not some life coach who has it all figured out. I’m just someone who spent way too long doing things that made me miserable before I finally got smart enough to… well, stop.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about self-improvement: sometimes the best thing you can do is quit. Not quit everything (that’s called giving up), but quit the stuff that’s slowly draining your soul without you even realizing it.
I’ve been experimenting with this “art of letting go” thing for a while now, and honestly? It’s been life-changing. Not in a dramatic, Hollywood-movie way, but in the quiet, “holy crap, I actually feel good today” way.
So here are 16 things I stopped doing that made everything better. Try one. Try all of them. Or just read this and go back to doom-scrolling. No judgment here.
1. Stopped Caring What Everyone Thinks About My Choices
This one’s huge. I used to run every decision through this imaginary committee in my head: “What will my parents think? What will my coworkers say? What will that random person from high school who I haven’t talked to in 10 years think?”
Plot twist: most people are too busy worrying about their own stuff to judge yours as much as you think they are. And the ones who do judge? They’re probably not the kind of people whose opinions matter anyway.
I’m not saying become a complete narcissist. But maybe stop asking for permission to live your own life.
2. Stopped Saying Yes to Everything
I was the queen of “Sure, I can do that!” even when I absolutely could not do that. My calendar looked like a game of Tetris played by someone having a panic attack.
Here’s what I learned: being busy doesn’t make you important. It just makes you tired.
Now I ask myself: “Is this necessary, or am I just afraid of disappointing someone?” Most of the time, it’s the latter. And guess what? People survive disappointment. Who knew?
3. Stopped Getting Sucked Into Other People’s Drama
I used to be everyone’s unpaid therapist. Friend having relationship problems? I’m there. Coworker complaining about the boss for the millionth time? Sign me up for another two-hour venting session.
Don’t get me wrong – I care about people. But there’s a difference between being supportive and being a dumping ground for everyone’s emotional baggage.
I can listen, offer advice if asked, and still not make their problems my full-time job. Revolutionary concept, I know.
4. Stopped Chasing Quick Highs
Instagram likes, online shopping, binge-watching shows until 3 AM – all fun in the moment, all leaving me feeling empty afterward.
I’m not saying I’ve become some zen master who only finds joy in meditation and kale smoothies. But I started asking: “Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?”
Most of the stuff I was chasing for quick dopamine hits… wouldn’t. So I started investing more time in things that actually build something: learning skills, deepening relationships, working on projects that excite me.
5. Stopped Consuming Garbage Content
My brain was like a garbage disposal for negativity. News, social media drama, true crime podcasts at 11 PM (because apparently I hate sleeping peacefully).
I didn’t go full digital detox or anything dramatic. I just got pickier about what I let into my head. Same energy I put into not eating expired food? Yeah, I started applying that to my media diet too.
6. Stopped Labeling Everything as a Disaster
Lost my keys? End of the world. Awkward conversation at work? Clearly everyone thinks I’m an idiot. Didn’t get that opportunity? Obviously I’m destined for failure.
My brain was like a dramatic teenager, turning every minor inconvenience into a tragedy.
Now when something “bad” happens, I try to think: “Okay, but what if this is just… a thing that happened?” Not good, not bad, just a thing. It’s amazing how much calmer life gets when you stop writing a soap opera script for every minor setback.
7. Stopped Holding Grudges Like They Were Precious Collectibles
Someone said something mean. A friend flaked on me. My boss was unfair. I used to replay these moments like they were my favorite songs, analyzing every word, crafting perfect comebacks I’d never use.
Here’s the thing: holding onto anger is like keeping a cactus in your pocket. It doesn’t hurt them – it just pokes you every time you move.
I’m not saying become a doormat. Set boundaries, learn from people’s behavior, protect yourself. But don’t let their bad day live rent-free in your head for months.
8. Stopped Procrastinating by Procrastinating Better
I’m still a procrastinator. Let’s be real. But I got smarter about it.
Instead of lying in bed dreading everything I had to do, I started doing one tiny thing. Just one. Send one email. Write one paragraph. Do ten minutes of whatever I was avoiding.
Turns out, starting is the hardest part. Once you’re moving, momentum kicks in. It’s like getting into a cold pool – you can stand at the edge dreading it for 20 minutes, or just jump in and be done with the shock in five seconds.
9. Stopped Pretending I Know Everything
My ego used to be more fragile than a soap bubble. Admitting I was wrong or didn’t know something felt like admitting I was a fraud.
But here’s what happened when I started saying “I don’t know” or “You might be right”: people respected me more, not less. Conversations got more interesting. I learned actual things instead of just defending my existing opinions.
Turns out, being teachable is more attractive than being right all the time.
10. Stopped Refusing Help Like It Was a Personal Attack
“I can do it myself” was basically my life motto. Asking for help felt like admitting weakness.
What a load of garbage that was.
Now I think of it like this: if someone offered to help you carry a heavy box, you wouldn’t say “No thanks, I prefer to struggle.” So why do that with everything else in life?
Let people help you. It doesn’t make you weak – it makes you human.
11. Stopped Living in the Future
Anxiety loves the future tense. “What if this happens? What if that goes wrong? What if I mess up?”
I spent so much time worrying about tomorrow that I forgot to show up for today.
I’m not saying don’t plan or prepare. But maybe don’t write disaster fanfiction about events that haven’t happened yet and probably never will.
Focus on the next thing you need to do, not the 47 things after that.
12. Stopped Comparing My Blooper Reel to Everyone’s Highlight Reel
Social media is basically everyone’s personal marketing department. Of course it looks like everyone else has their life together while you’re eating cereal for dinner in your pajamas at 2 PM.
But guess what? They’re probably eating cereal for dinner too. They just didn’t post about it.
Your messy, complicated, imperfect life is not less valuable than someone’s carefully curated online presence. Stop measuring your reality against someone else’s performance.
13. Stopped Waiting for “The Right Time”
“I’ll start exercising when I have more time.” “I’ll pursue that hobby when life calms down.” “I’ll take that trip when I have more money.”
Newsflash: there is no perfect time. Life doesn’t pause and announce “Okay, now would be good for that thing you wanted to do.”
The right time is now, with whatever messy circumstances you’re dealing with. Stop waiting for permission from the universe. It’s not coming.
14. Stopped Being Physically Present But Mentally Absent
Half-listening while scrolling through my phone. Thinking about work during dinner with friends. Being there but not really there.
When I started actually paying attention to the people in front of me – putting the phone away, making eye contact, listening to understand instead of waiting for my turn to talk – my relationships got so much better.
Presence is a gift you give both to others and to yourself.
15. Stopped Expecting Calm to Just Happen
I used to think inner peace was something that would magically appear once I got my life together. Spoiler alert: that day never came.
Calm isn’t something you achieve and then keep forever. It’s something you practice, like a skill. Every time you choose not to react immediately, every time you take a deep breath before responding, every time you remind yourself that most things aren’t actually emergencies – you’re building that muscle.
It’s not about becoming emotionless. It’s about becoming someone who can feel emotions without being controlled by them.
16. Stopped Being Surprised by People Being Themselves
This one took me forever to learn. That flaky friend? They’re going to flake. That dramatic coworker? They’re going to create drama. That family member who always makes everything about them? They’re going to make everything about them.
I’m not saying accept bad treatment or don’t set boundaries. But stop being shocked when people act exactly like they always act.
When you stop expecting people to be different than they are, you can either accept them as they are or decide you need different people in your life. Either way, you stop wasting energy on disappointment.
Here’s the Real Talk
I didn’t master all of these overnight. Some days I still catch myself doing the old patterns. That’s normal – change isn’t a destination, it’s a practice.
Pick one thing from this list that made you go “oh crap, I do that.” Try letting it go for a week. See what happens.
You don’t need to become a completely different person. You just need to stop doing the things that are making you miserable.
Trust me, it’s easier than you think. And way more effective than adding another self-improvement book to your stack of things you’re going to read “someday.”
What are you going to stop doing first?
