Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, overthinking every single word before you text your crush? Or maybe you’ve caught yourself changing your entire personality around them, wondering if they even know the real you? Yeah, I get it. That nervous energy when you’re around someone you like can make you do some pretty weird stuff if you’re not careful.
The thing is, most of us know deep down what we’re doing wrong. We just… do it anyway. Because when you like someone, your brain kind of goes a little haywire. You second-guess everything, you analyze every emoji they use, and you probably read their messages like they’re hidden clues in a mystery novel. I’ve been there, and honestly, I see it happen to so many people around me.
Here’s the reality, though—a lot of the mistakes we make when we’re crushing on someone are totally avoidable. And the best part? Once you know what they are, you can actually catch yourself before you do them. So let’s talk about the ten things you really want to avoid when you’re interacting with your crush. Some of these might sting a little because you’ve probably done them, but that’s kind of the point.
1. Playing Games and Pretending to Be Someone You’re Not
Look, I know the temptation is real. You see how your crush reacts to certain types of people or certain behaviors, and you think, “What if I just acted a little bit like that?” But here’s the thing—if you hook them with a fake version of you, what happens when they fall for that person? You’re stuck living a lie, and eventually it all falls apart anyway.
I had a friend who totally transformed herself around her crush. She’d be loud and bubbly, when really she’s more of a quiet observer type. She thought he’d like her better that way. And you know what? He did like her during those moments. But it was exhausting for her, and eventually, he realized he didn’t know the real her at all. The connection never went deeper because he wasn’t connecting with her—he was connecting with her act.
The uncomfortable truth is that you have to be willing to be rejected for who you actually are. If someone doesn’t like the real version of you, then they’re not the right person anyway. I know that’s hard to accept when you’re really into someone, but trying to be someone else isn’t the solution. Don’t forget that the relationships that actually work are the ones where both people feel comfortable being themselves.
2. Texting Them Constantly or Blowing Up Their Phone
Have you noticed how easy it is to send a message and then immediately send another one? And then another one? We live in this world where instant communication is the norm, but just because we can message someone constantly doesn’t mean we should.
If you’re sending multiple messages in a row without them responding, you’re probably making things weird. I mean, think about it from their perspective. They see three new messages pop up from you, and they haven’t even had time to respond to the first one. It can feel overwhelming or clingy, even if that’s not your intention at all.
The best approach? Send one message and then wait. I know the urge to keep talking is strong—you think of something funny and want to share it immediately, or you want to make sure they see your message. But resist that urge. Give them space to respond on their own time. If they’re interested, they’ll get back to you. And if they’re not responding much… well, that’s actually important information too, isn’t it?
3. Being Overly Available All the Time
This connects to the texting thing, but it’s bigger than that. If you’re always available, always quick to drop everything when they want to hang out, always making yourself a priority in their life, you’re actually making it harder for them to realize how valuable you are.
Now, what do I mean by that? Well, part of being attractive to someone is having your own life, your own interests, your own things going on. When you’re constantly available, you’re sending the message that you don’t have much else going on. And even if that’s not true, that’s how it comes across.
I’m not saying you should play hard to get in some manipulative way. That’s not it. What I’m saying is that you should actually have a full life outside of this person. You should have friends, hobbies, goals, and things that matter to you. And when you’re hanging out with your crush, you should be present and engaged—but you shouldn’t be abandoning everything else just because they texted you.
After all, one of the most attractive things about a person is their independence and their passions. If your crush can see that you have a rich life happening outside of your interactions with them, they’re going to respect that. They’re going to be more interested in being part of it.
4. Bringing Up Your Exes All the Time
Okay, this one’s kind of obvious when you think about it, but you’d be surprised how often people do this without realizing. They’re in the middle of a conversation with their crush, and suddenly they’re talking about their ex-partner. “Oh yeah, my ex used to do that too,” or “This reminds me of this thing my ex said.”
Why is this a problem? Well, for starters, your crush really doesn’t need to hear about your relationship history right away. It can come up naturally over time, sure. But if you’re constantly bringing it up, it does a couple of things. First, it makes them wonder if you’re actually over your ex. Second, it takes away from the moment you’re having together. They want to be forming memories and connections with you—not hearing about your past relationships.
If you find yourself constantly wanting to reference your ex or past relationships when you’re talking to your crush, that might actually be a sign that you need to spend some time processing those old relationships. Don’t forget that the goal here is to build something new, not to keep one foot in the past.
5. Trying Too Hard to Impress Them
There’s this fine line between showing interest and trying way too hard to seem impressive. You know what I mean? Like when you suddenly pretend to be really into something just because your crush is into it, or you exaggerate your accomplishments, or you act like you have your life totally figured out when you’re really still figuring things out?
The problem with this approach is that it’s exhausting, and it never feels authentic. Your crush will probably sense that something’s off, even if they can’t put their finger on what it is. Authenticity is way more attractive than someone trying to perform for you.
Now, that doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to seem boring or uninteresting. Not at all. What it means is that you should let your genuine interests and accomplishments speak for themselves. If you’ve done something cool, it’s fine to mention it. But don’t make up stuff or exaggerate wildly. And if your crush is into something you’re not really into? You can show interest in learning more about it without pretending to be obsessed with it.
6. Talking About the Relationship or Your Feelings Too Early
This is a tricky one because timing matters so much. Of course, you’re going to have feelings. Of course, you’re going to be thinking about what this could become. But there’s a difference between having those feelings and immediately dumping them all on your crush.
If you start talking about how you see this going, or how serious you want things to be, before you’ve even built a foundation together, you’re putting a lot of pressure on the situation. You’re also kind of forcing them to make a decision before they’re ready to make one.
Have you ever had someone tell you how they feel about you, and suddenly the whole dynamic shifts? It’s not necessarily bad, but it does change things. Your crush needs time to develop their own feelings at their own pace. If you jump ahead and declare everything, you’re not giving them that space.
The bottom line is this: let things develop naturally. Enjoy your time together, build a connection, and if things are progressing, the conversation about feelings will happen. You don’t need to force it.
7. Being Jealous or Possessive About Their Other Relationships
So your crush is hanging out with someone else, or talking to another person, and suddenly you’re feeling some type of way about it. Maybe you start asking who they were with, or you make little comments about how much time they spend with other people. And guess what? That’s a jealousy move, and it’s definitely not a good look.
Here’s the thing—you’re not in a relationship yet. Your crush has every right to spend time with other people. That could be friends, that could be other people they’re interested in, whatever. But if you start acting possessive or jealous, you’re putting them in an uncomfortable position. You’re also making the whole thing feel more intense and complicated than it needs to be.
If you find yourself feeling jealous, that’s information. But that jealousy is for you to deal with, not for you to project onto your crush. Maybe you need to work on your insecurity. Maybe you need to have your own life so you’re not so focused on who they’re spending time with. Whatever it is, don’t let your jealousy become their problem.
8. Oversharing Personal Stuff Too Quickly
There’s a natural pace to how close people get. You share a little, they share a little, and over time, you both open up more and more. But if you’re telling your crush all your deepest insecurities, your family drama, your financial problems, or your mental health struggles on like the second conversation, you’re moving way too fast.
I’m not saying you should hide who you are or be secretive. Not at all. But there’s a difference between being open and being overly vulnerable with someone who hasn’t earned that trust yet. They need time to show up for you, to prove they’re trustworthy with your emotions, before you’re laying everything out.
Also, if you overshare too early, it can put them in a position where they feel responsible for you or your problems. That’s a lot of weight to put on someone you’re just getting to know. Let things build naturally, and share more as the relationship develops.
9. Not Setting Any Boundaries
Okay, so you like this person and you want them to like you, so you’re cool with whatever they want. They want to hang out at midnight on a weeknight? You’re there. They want to vent about their problems for three hours? You’re listening. Do they only text you every few days? You’re just happy to hear from them. And you’re not saying anything.
Listen, I get it. You don’t want to rock the boat or seem difficult. But when you have zero boundaries, you’re actually setting yourself up for being treated badly. Not necessarily intentionally, but it happens. If your crush never knows what they can and can’t get away with, they might just keep pushing and pushing.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean controlling. It’s actually healthy for both of you. You’re showing them what kind of treatment you expect and what you’re not okay with. And honestly? That kind of self-respect is attractive. People respect people who respect themselves.
10. Losing Yourself Completely
This might be the most important one, so stick with me here. When you really like someone, it’s easy to make them the center of your whole world. Your thoughts are about them, your time is organized around them, and your happiness depends on how they’re treating you that day. And before you know it, you’ve kind of disappeared.
The people you were close to before? You’re not making time for them. What hobbies did you love? You’ve stopped doing them because you’re waiting to see if your crush will hang out. Your goals and dreams? They’ve taken a backseat because now everything is about this person.
And here’s what happens—you become less interesting, you feel less fulfilled, and you’re putting way too much pressure on your crush to be everything for you. That’s not fair to them, and it’s definitely not healthy for you.
Don’t forget that the best version of yourself is the one who has their own life, their own identity, their own things that matter to them. When you maintain that, you’re actually more attractive to your crush. Plus, you’re just going to feel better about yourself in general.
The Real Talk
So those are ten pretty big things to avoid when you’re crushing on someone. Now, I’m not saying you have to be perfect about all of them. You’re probably going to mess up sometimes. We all do. The key is becoming aware of these patterns so that when you catch yourself doing them, you can actually stop.
The bottom line is this—the goal isn’t to manipulate your crush into liking you or to perform a perfect version of yourself. The goal is to build a genuine connection with someone while also taking care of yourself. And honestly? When you do that, the rest kind of follows naturally. You either build something real with them, or you realize they’re not the right person for you anyway. Either way, you win.
Be yourself, be respectful, be real, and give things time to develop. That’s really all you can do.
- 10 Things to Avoid When Talking to Your Crush (Don’t Make These Mistakes!) - October 30, 2025
- How to Know If He’s Serious: Clear Signs of Real Commitment - October 30, 2025
- How to Make Your Voice More Attractive: Proven Techniques That Actually Work - October 30, 2025
