For some of us, we can instantly tell if we’re in love with someone. The moment you realize can happen in an instant, and then you’ve suddenly realized you’re ‘in love’. But often love is growing in the background of our minds without us realizing it. Each lovely interaction or sweet, genuine phrase or conversation is another seed planted in our little love garden. And before you know it, you have a whole gazebo!
Of love that is.
But you may know if you love someone, but how do you know if your partner loves you?
Well, they could just tell you. But in case you both haven’t yet spoken those three sacred words yet – or perhaps you’re too scared to – I have the list of things someone just can’t help but do, if they really love you.
1. They’d rather call you than text
People can be busy, and a simple yet thoughtful text can go a long way when the work is piled high and you simply just don’t have the time. But more often when someone loves someone, they can’t wait to hear their voice again. A quick text or two won’t do!
The truth is, your partner is likely really starting to fall for you if they favor calling you than the easy text messaging. Or what’s always better, talking in person.
2. They stop by to talk in person
If you love someone, wouldn’t you want to spend time with that person any chance you get? Well, maybe not every chance you get, but you get the point.
If your partner surprises you by stopping to eat with you during their lunch break every now and then, or knocks at your door for a surprise visit, they may just love you so much they can’t wait to see you again!
3. They give you their full attention in a conversation
People can multitask, it’s a thing. It’s a pretty stressful thing sometimes, and others it’s quite relaxing if you have the right music.
But, if your spouse is constantly scanning their social media feed while talking to you, or only having time to talk with you during their last match of Halo, they may not be ready to say those three vital words yet.
When we love someone, we are attentive when we need to talk about serious topics. Even not-so-serious topics! We enjoy focusing on the one we love. We value their opinion and the things they have to say. And first and foremost, we listen and pay attention.
To your partner, not the scoreboard.
4. They want to create special moments with you
Road trip!
Don’t you just love going on special little trips with your loved ones? Or perhaps, spending the day at a unique place that means something to the two of you?
When we love someone, we want to form unique and beautiful memories with that person. You’ll often find yourself begging them to go on a weekend road trip to pack on the memories, or spend the day picnicking at a beautiful spot that means something to the both of you.
Whatever your thing is, if you love someone, you want to create special memories with them. Not just the same old same old.
When you think back inside your big ole memory bank, what memories do you tend to remember? Everybody remembers a great vacation or date, and a special moment within those memories is bound to be remembered. Perhaps the first time you say, ‘I love you’?
While the usual routine can be fine at times, who doesn’t want to take the person they love somewhere special?
But hey, odds are those three magical words will be said for the first time simply hanging on the couch or at your home. And if you love the person, it simply won’t matter where those words were said.
5. They’re there for you when you need them
This one should be obvious. And if your spouse isn’t there for you when you need them most? Then boy do we have a problem.
It all comes down to this. Are they there for you? Really there for you?
If we love someone, we want to help them through their darkest times, we have to because we care about what they’re going through. Does your spouse reach out to you? Do they genuinely care and ask how you are? Can they sense when something isn’t right? Or do they often ignore it?
While some simply can’t read the signs if someone isn’t feeling okay, they should at least be there to listen to you, or care enough to ask every now and then.
And if you reach out to them, if they love you they’ll make sure to be there and listen.
Not through just text, they’ll call you, or surprise you and visit. Remember points one and two!
6. They say: ‘I love you’
Hhhmmm, you don’t say?
Yes, I know! Of course, saying I love you would be an obvious sign. But let me explain.
Sometimes love can fade in people’s relationships. Sometimes it may have never been there. Sometimes someone says ‘love you’ too soon, misjudging their feelings.
But, if they tend to do the things I’ve listed above, odds are it is genuine love.
But if your partner no longer tells you they love you, there may be a chance their heart has moved on.
When we love someone, we tend to enjoy telling them. We like to remind them every now and then: “Hey! I love you!” It makes them, and us, feel happy and…
Well… in love.
7. They defend you when you’re not around
Have you ever found out that someone stood up for you when you weren’t there to defend yourself? It’s one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, isn’t it?
When someone truly loves you, they can’t help but defend your honor when others try to tear you down. They don’t just sit there quietly when someone makes a joke at your expense or says something mean about you. They speak up because your reputation matters to them as much as their own.
And here’s the thing – they don’t do it for brownie points or to tell you about it later. They do it because they genuinely can’t stand to hear someone talk badly about the person they love.
8. They remember the little things you say
Do they bring up that random story you told them three weeks ago? Or remember that you don’t like onions on your burger without you having to remind them every single time?
When someone loves you, your words stick with them. Not just the big important stuff, but the tiny details that most people would forget five minutes later. They remember because everything about you matters to them, even the seemingly unimportant things.
It’s like they’re collecting little pieces of who you are and storing them away because they find you fascinating enough to remember it all.
9. They include you in their future plans
“We should go there next summer.” “When we get a bigger place…” “I was thinking we could…”
Notice how they say “we” instead of “I” when talking about the future? That’s love talking. When someone truly loves you, they can’t imagine their future without you in it.
They’re not just thinking about what they want to do next month or next year – they’re thinking about what you two want to do together. Because somewhere along the way, their dreams became your dreams, and your dreams became theirs.
10. They get excited about your successes
When you get good news, who’s the first person you want to tell? And when you tell them, do they get as excited as you are?
Someone who loves you doesn’t just congratulate you and move on. They celebrate your wins like they’re their own wins. They want to hear all the details, they want to know how you’re feeling about it, and they might even be more excited than you are.
There’s no jealousy, no competition, no trying to one-up you with their own achievements. Just pure happiness that something good happened to the person they love.
Final thoughts
If you know you love them, and they often do the things I’ve mentioned, it’s best to stop and ask yourself:
What’s holding you back?
Because if you love someone,
Why wouldn’t you tell them?
