Do you believe in soulmates? In the idea that out of billions of people in the whole world, there is someone special you are destined to be with? Even if you answered no, many of us still want to hold on to the hope that our perfect partner exists.
No matter how naive or idealistic other people might say it is to believe in soulmates, there’s no denying that some people are just meant for each other, having something special that makes them fit together perfectly.
But the question is, how do you know if you’ve already found your soulmate? Well, I’ll explain some soulmate qualities I have identified, and I hope this will help you recognize if you’ve already found yours.
1. They love you when you’re at your worst
When I met my husband, James, I had a little bit of an emotional moment and breakdown within a couple of weeks of our dating. And I was definitely more at my worst if you could imagine. And guess what? He just totally embraced that. He totally loved it and supported me even more.
So the night before he proposed to me, I was again at my absolute worst. I was so angry, just so annoyed at life and things, and stressed out. And guess what? Like I said before, he proposed marriage to me the next day. So that was the ultimate test.
Sometimes you can be your worst, but your soulmate will still love you in your worst. You don’t have to hide it. You can be intense, outspoken, and be yourself, and it is the beauty of being with your soulmate.
2. They give you your personal space
The second point is interdependence. What’s really awesome about a soulmate relationship is that you have independence within the relationship, so you have your own space. Because I know you’re very accomplished, you have done many things in your life, and you like to ensure that you don’t lose yourself in the relationship.
Don’t worry because, within a soulmate relationship, there is always a lot of space for you. For instance, when my husband and I got married, here is one of our vows with this ring, I set you free. Now, what did we mean by that? We meant that in this case, we were actually taking a stand for that part inside of my husband, or he was taking the stand for the part inside of me that wants to be independent, because we want to have space, and there’s so much room for connection when we have our space.
3. You like all of their sides
We say so often I love this guy, or he is so great, and I’m so in love with him, which is the romantic aspect of love. But we also need to make sure that there is a friendship foundation underlying your relationship. Now, how do you know that that’s the case? Well, you also like him.
He and his qualities are likable to you. You are best friends. One way is how one of my friends explained it to me. “You don’t just love who he is, but also what he is.”
The energy he brings to the table. And you like all sides of him, such as the king, warrior, magician, little boy, and the wild man. You like all aspects of him equally, versus saying, Well, I love when he does this for me, but I don’t love when he gets angry, or I don’t love when he gets selfish, or I don’t love when he gets arrogant.
4. They respect your boundaries
So many women are afraid that their boundaries are not being respected or that they don’t set them without feeling guilty because they feel like they are being guilt-tripped by their partner when they say no to something.
But the beautiful thing with a soulmate is that you can set your boundaries without guilt. And also, they fully respect that. Now, this is also the case when we talk about intimate boundaries.
They are not going to push you on those boundaries. Part of the reason is that you are connected on all levels. So they see way beyond the physical connection and understand that there are also mental and intellectual connections.
They also understand that there’s an emotional connection, the emotional intimacy, being vulnerable with each other, and sharing each other’s deepest, darkest secrets.
And they also understand that there is an energetic level as well. Well, if you wonder what does it mean to have an energetic level? Well, think about this one example. You finish each other’s sentences. Or think about it this way.
You think about him and guess what? The next thing you know, your phone rings, and you see his name on display. So those are a couple of examples. And so they know the physical level is just one of four levels, and that makes you feel safe and secure in your soulmate relationship.
5. They speak to your higher self
When you have to face difficult moments or feel helpless or lack resourcefulness, for example, when you say, “I don’t know, I can’t figure this out right now. I don’t know a way out, and I’m losing myself.” Whatever the case, they will speak right into your higher self or the higher version of you.
They will remind you of your resourcefulness, or they will remind you that you are so smart. For example, your soulmate will say, “I know it because I saw you figure out this problem last week. Or I know you are so innovative and creative, you are totally going to figure this out.” Your soulmate will always be your eternal cheerleader by speaking to your higher self.
6. There were no instant fireworks
I have worked with hundreds of single women all over the world and helped them solve their relationship issues. And in nine out of ten cases, there was no instant firework or attraction.
And so you may think, well, this can’t be the right person for me. Now I invite you to think again. Because when I met my husband, it just felt more like peace. It felt like smooth sailing. It wasn’t this big deal.
And the reason is that it feels like coming home when you meet your soulmate. Before meeting your soulmate, you may have dated emotionally unavailable or manipulative men, and so you are used to this rollercoaster of emotions you then mistake for passion.
In reality, however, you have to see that this has nothing to do with longevity. If you are a couple or a match, that you’re long-term, like really sustainable, has nothing to do with that.
As a matter of fact, when you’re recalibrating your emotional guidance system, you will often be attracted to someone who is not well and who has physical chemistry with you. And you have to train yourself to be interested in someone you may not have that instant firework with.
But what happens is you have this deep connection. So you have more depth versus width if that makes any sense. And often, we love to go wide and get distracted and have lots of variety in our lives versus saying, wow, I’m going deep with this person. So don’t forget, there are no instant fireworks.
7. They can handle your silence
Have you noticed how some people get uncomfortable when you’re quiet? They always want to fill the space with talking or they think something is wrong with you. But your soulmate? They are totally okay with your silence.
They understand that sometimes you just need to be quiet and think. They don’t take it personally when you’re not talking. They can sit with you in silence and it doesn’t feel awkward or weird. It feels comfortable.
And when you do talk, they listen. Really listen. Not just waiting for their turn to speak. They want to understand what you’re saying, and they remember what you tell them. That’s how you know they truly get you.
8. You can disagree without fighting
This is a big one. You and your soulmate will not agree on everything, and that’s totally okay. But here’s the difference – when you disagree, it doesn’t turn into a big drama or a fight where someone has to win.
You can have different opinions and still respect each other. You can discuss things without getting nasty or trying to hurt each other. And sometimes, you might even change your mind because they made a good point, or they might change theirs.
The point is, disagreeing doesn’t threaten your relationship. It just shows that you are two different people who chose to be together, and that’s beautiful.
9. They make you want to be better
Not in a way where they’re trying to change you or fix you. But being around them makes you naturally want to improve yourself. Maybe you start taking better care of your health, or you pursue that hobby you always wanted to try, or you become more patient with people.
It’s like they bring out the best version of you without even trying. And you do the same for them. You both inspire each other to grow and become better people, but it doesn’t feel like pressure or like you have to be perfect.
10. Your problems become smaller
When you’re with your soulmate, the things that used to stress you out don’t feel as big anymore. Not because they solve all your problems for you, but because you know you’re not facing life alone anymore.
Having someone who truly understands you and supports you makes everything feel more manageable. The problems are still there, but they don’t consume you the way they used to. You have someone to share the load with, and that makes all the difference.
And when really hard things happen in life, you know you can get through them together. That feeling of partnership and support is something you can’t fake or force. It’s just there.
Final thoughts
So, do you relate to any of the qualities I’ve mentioned here? Have you ever met someone you felt an unexplained connection with? If your answer is yes, then count yourself lucky. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have someone in their lives who makes them feel like they belong, and many people spend years trying to find that kind of emotional connection with someone else.
If your answer is no, to be free, you must learn to let go. Release the hurt and fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. And only when you achieve all these things will you be ready to receive all the wonderful gifts from the Universe.