How to keep your crush interested through texting
Going through the early text conversations that are so important with someone new can be like walking over a minefield — just one wrong step and you’ve lost them.
I have had numerous clients ask me for help because they are caught up in texting purgatory with a new love interest. There’s so much promise and so much unknown at that commencement stage. You don’t want to be seen as needy. Or weird. You want to seem keen but without seeming over the top. Yes, it’s a very fine dance!
Figuring out how to make your crush excited to text you back is like solving a problem. Don’t worry — after coaching for many years, I have lots of advice! By using some not-very-complicated texting methods, you can get your new crush waiting eagerly for your next message and wanting more. Need some excitement boosted into your texts? Well then, let’s dig in!
1. Skip the Small Talk
When your crush sends a routine “Hey, what’s up?” resist the urge to just reply back with “Not much, you?”. As harmless as small talk feels, it won’t get your crush thrilled to text you.
Instead, get the ball rolling with an unusual icebreaker question, like asking what random thought they woke up to this morning. Or say something playful like, “Let’s skip the boring chit-chat today. Tell me something I don’t know about you yet.” Leaping into meaningful conversation creates intrigue.
2. Mix in Mystery
Being too eager and an open book right off the bat won’t sustain excitement long-term. Sprinkle in some irresistible mystery to keep your crush guessing.
Give just a subtle hint about your rock climbing class without elaborating. Or allude to a cool concert you’re going to, and if they ask which band, say, “I’ll tell you later,” with a wink emoji. A little mystery builds anticipation to unravel more about you.
3. Master Playful Teasing
Nothing brings people together like laughter. Playful teasing in doses is an art that reveals you’re comfortable being yourself.
When my client Sam first texted his crush, Nina, he sprinkled in compliments like “You have the best smile.” It was sweet but lacked personality. I suggested Sam blend in some light teasing. He wrote, “For someone so tiny, how do you eat so many hot dogs?” referencing how Nina had beaten him in a hot dog eating contest. She loved this display of humor and quick wit.
4. Ask Them Open-Ended Questions
Draw your crush into richer conversations by asking open-ended questions versus ones with yes/no answers. If they went on a hike, don’t just ask, “Did you have fun?” Ask, “What was the highlight of the hike?” or “Describe the view from the top.”
Get them to elaborate on travel adventures, biggest dreams, or most embarrassing moments. Thoughtful questions show you’re interested in who they are deep down.
5. Know When to Pull Back
Sometimes, less is more. Don’t smother your crush by rapid-fire texting every little detail of your day. Give them a chance to miss hearing from you sometimes.
One way to achieve this is to end conversations on a high note, leaving them wanting more. You can also build desire by occasionally not responding right away. Let a few hours pass before getting back to them. This creates eagerness around your next contact.
6. Share Exciting Life Updates
People are drawn to positivity. Share bite-sized nuggets about exciting things that happen in your day.
Did you have an encounter with a celebrity? Get front-row seats to a concert? Try a new extreme sport? Let your happy energy and passion for life shine through. It’s attractive when someone radiates adventure and joy.
Just don’t make it a one-sided brag fest. Make sure to ask about what’s new and exciting with your crush, too.
7. Send Thoughtful Good Morning/Night Texts
Few things feel as special as waking up or going to bed to an uplifting message from someone you like. A simple “Good morning, beautiful. I hope you have an amazing day!” or “Good night, sleep tight!” can go a long way.
My client Emily had a crush on a guy named Aaron for months. She finally got the courage to give him her number. Aaron later texted her good night and good morning texts during their initial talking phase. Emily said getting those sweet little check-ins made her heart flutter with excitement.
So use this technique to start your crush’s day off on the right foot and end it with sweet dreams of you.
The beginning stages of texting a crush are fragile but so full of potential. While it’s tempting to overanalyze, the healthiest approach is simply being your authentic self. Bring lightness and laughter into your exchanges. Share meaningful tidbits from your world. Ask thoughtful questions. A little excitement and mystery along the way never hurt, either!
I hope these seven tips can inspire you to have fun connecting with your crush through text. Flirty texting does take some skill but gets easier with practice. So next time your phone lights up with a message from them, take a breath and be confident. Avoid awkward silence by engaging their imagination. Make them smile, and look forward to your next conversation. The rewards will be well worth it!